You just made me feel so damn special
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
