I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
