great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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