i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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