I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity�
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
