I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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