dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
We are all done wearing pants today
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
