I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
