hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
