i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
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