Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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