physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
