I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
