Christians are straight up FREAKS
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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