I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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