Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Randomize
