Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
i think i just lost a toe
PANTIES FOUND
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