the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
