i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
There was a lot of him and a little penis
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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