He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
Church boner. Awkwardddd
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
Randomize
