just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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