Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
