I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
They took my balls.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Randomize
