i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
