That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
