You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
Randomize
