Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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