The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i just sent this text using only my big toe
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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