He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
they call him Oral-B. enough said
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
