She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
Randomize
