yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
