i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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