He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Randomize
