man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
