hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
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