i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
