i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
The adults are the big ones right?
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
Randomize
