no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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