Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
