New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
