So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Randomize
