just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
