still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
