sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
high people should be assigned attendants
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
