He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
