If i come over, it means nothing
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Randomize
