Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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