oh god the rape fog is back!
just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
