I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
