dude i'm inner monologue high
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
